Triangles

According to Systems Theory, dyads - or two people are the basic unit of human behavior. When anxiety is experienced by either or both in the dyad a third "unit" is sought, identified and used to "absorb" or "displace" the anxiety that cannot be managed. Quintessential is the married couple who decide to have a child instead of deal with any one of the many issues that can break up a marriage - finances, sex, future visions, substance abuse, etc...

And some theorists maintain that all triangles are bad news. I'm not so sure. Part of the premise that triangles are always bad is based on the observation that triangles are stable, followed by the assumption that the triangulating will prevent the engagement of the issue stimulating the anxiety and "lock-in" a pattern of negative behaviors. However, it seems to me that seeking help is a positive form of triangulating. Or if a well differentiated individual is brought into a triangle there is an opportunity to bring the dyad back into full, direct relationship in a way that is not overwhelming and therefore destructive. It's kind of like a defense mechanism in more individualistic systems - they can be necessary for survival, even though they can also become debilitating.