R D Laing: Selected Works: Knots

He is devoured
by his devouring fear of
being devoured by
her devouring desire
for him to devour her.

Laing, R. D. R.D. Laing : Selected Works : Knots, Volume 7.
Florence, KY, USA: Routledge, 1999. p 16.

If we could talk about our talking we might talk like that. Often I wonder - yes, sometimes during the conversation - what I am talking about. And of course, when I say "what I am talking about," I mean what we are talking about. What is the underlying fear, rage or shame that is "driving" the conversation? It finally sunk in last semester: most people are uncomfortable talking about what they are talking about. I suppose I'm uncomfortable but I'm also invigorated - energized. But then tragedy hits... the experience of interacting becomes circular. I'm afraid you're afraid I'm afraid; and I'm afraid that is not good - like a never ending, "No after you..." we get stuck.

So I've been reading about Heinz von Foerester too; and his kubernetes (cybernetics) contribution seems like just like a primary prinicple of my own upbringing, "maximize the options." My dad taught and sold programs of corporate strategic planning and decision making. So I felt right at home with that principle; as well as it fitting the image of the therapeutic process I see. New options are created by new relationships; and a new relationship can also be intentional about maximizing possibilities. And since the expansion of possibitlites or options means the expansion of reality, therapy is generative or healing.